Still Waters

Today is just one of those days! I am sure I would have loved it any other way but this. Things just didn't click. I had my hands around my ears and I just began to cry, now I could pretend that I was brave but really I coward. I completely crumbled under the weight of confusion! I felt like crawling into a corner and hiding among the shadows. Words were slowly disappearing before my eyes, thoughts began to melt into a snow globe of confusion. Another episode of my illness, like a sailor being tossed in a boat on the high seas. I could merely watch as the great winds and ocean waves fought with one another. My lips were moving but silence held it tight! I just laid there, on the couch hoping my mind would regain composer and once again I could stand.

     As the day turned into night my mind had settled and the calm waters had prevailed. Life was getting back to the general norm of who I was again. I began to laugh, love and live! Sooner or later the waves have to settle and the storm has to leave. It may go on for days, even weeks; time has to move on and so do we! So my little story of angst or burden as we should say, is something that can only be overcome with patients and persistence. I am a survivor and so I am going to live as one!! Take a moment in your day and be thankful for who you are and who you are trying to be (an overcomer) Maybe others might not see your struggles as you see them but don't worry, what should really be of concern is that you are taking one step at a time. Going forward every moment in life! God is much bigger than your problems!

Hang in there and live beyond your limitations..

Your Love Carried Me

     As I lifted my head I could see hundreds of children walking into the gym. I quickly looked down into my backpack, reaching for something to calm my nerves; I grabbed my cue cards and began to recite my speech under the slight gentle breath of anxiety. I knew I could do this, this is only a gym filled with tons of children waiting in anticipation. Watching my every move! I quickly put the cue cards down and told myself "Ernie calm down, this is only a demonstration. You are here to encourage and inspire children, you can do it!"

     I tried to focus on the fact that I was actually in a gym filled with children waiting to hear me speak. Just four and a half years ago I was in a hospital bed hearing the horrible news that I just had a stroke. The moment had literally made me crumble like a pile of bricks, like a wrecking ball had just smashed my entire world into pieces of rubble. Now if I could overcome that situation than I could undoubtedly face a school gym filled with people! So as soon as I heard my name I stood up and walked slowly to the front. Kids were looking at me with the biggest smiles, eyes were beaming; the world seemed so intriguing to their minds. Once I approached the front I felt calm and began to tell them my story, in fact it was the story of many people who suffer from illness. The sudden change of plans, a world that begins to change color. Maybe for some the world becomes black and white, filled with colorless dreams. I felt like a painter with words, slowly brushing the shapes and shadows of hope. 

     I could have hidden away in a cave of fear or covered my head with broken aspirations but that just isn't my personality. All because I spoke out and began to run, to believe in something bigger than myself. Knowing that God has a plan and that He holds my heart. I told others about myself, I preached it! I wanted to make others aware that we need to be aware of those around us, to care for those who are suffering. Well the speech was over and children were clapping, my heart went right through the roof! My eyes were filled with tears as I began to walk away, I was really touched by the love of the children. There is nothing more beautiful than watching young hearts begin to dream or for that matter anyone! As I began to return to my seat a couple of teachers stopped me and told me " Ernie I can't believe how much you have changed since 2 years ago! It simply is amazing." I was shocked and yet at the same time my heart, my soul, my everything; I felt like I had just swallowed rocket fuel!!" I felt motivated and I guarantee you that the run on May 1st will be the first of many motivational moments. 

     My dream is to run in seventy cities and running 7 miles within each city. With each run I want to run a short distance with any person who is in a wheelchair! Hey, I can dream can't I?! Seriously though, I have dreams in the making and nothing is impossible when you feel inspired. Diligence will carry the passion and passion will carry the hope!

You have the opportunity to be more than just a word within a page, a letter sitting in simple anticipation. You can be the writer of wonderful stories, living the dream!  By EvK

May God Bless you!

Give it your all

     Now in life there are moments that stand out beyond others, they seem so different because maybe they were unexpected or they were something that we could never imagine in our minds. Whatever the case may be the imprint is inspiring. The emotions are raw and beautiful! For me that came true today, it felt like a whisper gently telling me that I am on the right path. I am making someone else's life a little bit better and in doing so it is blessing my life in some amazingly strange way. Have you ever stepped outside expecting a dreary day of work and mundane living, only to be greeted by the most amazing sunrise?! You become suddenly numb by the most amazing colours of the sky and the warmth of the morning sun. Your worries begin to fade into the heavens above, that brief moment was an unexpected gift. A beautiful oasis of wonder.

  
     Well today was one of those wonderful horizons, and the gift was such a soft reminder that beauty can surprise you at any given moment. As I approached a corner that was near to my home I recognized a father that I had spoken to previously. I waved hello and said a few words in passing and then carried on my way. As I reached for the door of my house I couldn't help but feel the need to return to that father and speak with him. So as I turned around and walked back to his house. As he began to smile and speak  I could see the mask quickly melting away. He looked so worried and filled with sadness, he began to tell me of his sons pain and difficulty with walking. 

  
     Now in the past, this young teenager had watched me on numerous occasions run and slowly overcome my difficulty with stroke symptoms. He had seen me improve dramatically and felt inspired by my dedication and my fervor.  I eventually became friends with his family and ran a 37 km run (dedicating the last few kms to the fathers son) Well with all that being said, that being the history of this moment. The father looked at me and told me how his son viewed me as a person who he holds in high regard. I was taken back by the thought and so I gave the father a big hug as my lips began to quiver. I am sure he didn't notice, but I was moved. The father continued his story of how he tried to encourage his son by saying "Son, Ernie has horrible days too but he keeps trying; he doesn't give up!" 

  
     That was the moment that i will remember for the rest of my life. I am running for a purpose and by Gods grace I will run to the finish line. My motto will be the same as it has since the beginning and it goes as follows 

"Give it your best and when that is gone, give it your all!" by EvK

Heroes are not born they are carved out of passion and dedication for hope, truth and above all else love!

When Hope Whispers Victory Shouts

     Now I have thought of many words when my lips are silent and nothing seems to ring as loud as BELIEVE. I can't put my finger on it but maybe it is because that word encompasses so much. It dares to face giants of fear and swim oceans of sorrow, it remains strong no matter what it must do even when it is weak. You see, choosing to believe requires that you let go of things that drag you down. It is inevitable, when you commit to believing in something, anything; your heart will have to choose between loss or gain. Believing requires that silent demand of respect, that expectation to overcome.
     Sometimes in life we loose direction because our conviction isn't clear, our words are far too many with so little worth. So when you look at yourself what word holds your heart, what thought drives you? What would you wish others to hear, to know?

     When my world lays silent

  and fears

begin to crawl

though my lips may quiver

I will stand high

I will stand tall

Believe

By EvK  

Believe

When I first saw this picture it made me think a mile a minute. There was so much being told, a story silently bleeding through the colours of the sun. That story was telling me to believe!!! Now at some point or another we all are faced with the profound choice of believing. It literally shapes how we deal with circumstances! Somewhere in the very depths of who you are there is a choice to be made, a place in which you can have as a monument of faith or a stumbling block of doubt and fear. Now for me, believing is everything! Without this amazing fuel I could not carry on as I do, I could not imagine the things that I hope to accomplish or to change.
    
     The message can truly be that simple, that amazing if only you would pick up your fears, worries and disbeliefs and hold them up to the light of hope. Now if you are overwhelmed by sickness or by hate or a multitude of other stumbling blocks just remember you can choose to believe!! Though my present struggles cause me concern I know that there is change coming. I see a new dawn, a new day. Slowly as every moment passes a new letter is written on my heart and though it seems painfully unbearable, there will come a time when I have the choice to shine in this world or hide in the sand. I choose to shine, I choose to believe!!

Never apologize for being different; the only apologies that should ever be handed out is for indifference!


By EVK