Hunger

   I lived in my car for sometime due to contractors lying and cheating me out of wages so their sons could drive bmw's etc. Well I didn't get paid and slept through an entire winter in a car. I often woke up because of the chattering of my teeth, I ate small amounts of food that my soon to be wife gave me (an apple or an orange, maybe a banana) She took only food that was her own and then shared it with me. Some nights were beyond bareable and so I slept during the day when the sun was out. My girlfriend  was going to school at the time and while she was in class I would sleep in the main study hall. I was a very broken person back then, disheartened by those who lied and those who withheld due wages. In fact I remember my stomach hurting so much that I often thought of eating garbage just so I could get by. Well right across from me was a food dispenser that I often stared at but had no money to purchase food for my hunger, late one afternoon I saw a few women from my girlfriends dorm room tipping the machine so they could get candies and food just for the sake of it. They thought it trivial and erroneous to believe they were stealing and for some reason felt it was humorous to take what was not their own. As they walked away they chuckled at the thought of their actions and that they had the money to purchase but instead took what they felt they deserved despite the lack of hunger.

    

     I never forgot that day nor the hunger that constantly burned in my belly. I questioned Gods kindness and mans mercy but I knew that in those moments that God was digging deeper into the very depths of my soul, telling me with memories that hunger is but a moment but honour is a lifetime. Don't forget that every action you do has an indescribable reaction. You can chose to have a photo album of memories worth smiling about, looking back knowing that you put your faith in a God who remains strong through even the roughest times. I am no special person by any means but I do believe that Christ has created in me a clean heart, to worship him, to live for him, to run for him, to be all the things that Gods heart spurs me towards. Late one night as I was shaking from the cold a security guard took notice to my predicament, he invited me to his office and gave me hot chocolate and 10 dollars. We spoke and laughed for a brief time, I forget the words he spoke but I never forgot his kind smile and giving heart. We all have an opportunity to be the light that everyone so desperately needs, sometimes it's like the break of dawn, shining beautifully as it rises and other times it just a brief light to guide the ship home from rough waters. After that winter and others I had experienced in hardship I never forgot the value of people over objects. Christmas is a time of giving from the heart not the wallet, a precious star of hope guiding us to a promise much bigger than ourselves.

Words Of Change

     As of lately, I have been running my feet off and when I say "feet off" I mean it! I say that with a slight chuckle but all in all it is true. I never thought in my wildest dreams that this 70x7 tour would take off so well and yet it has. Somewhere deep inside my heart I felt there was a reason why all of this happened and that God knows His business. I just decided that either I was looking at one big pile of impossibilities or I would take every minute at a time, maybe even seconds and see opportunities. Yes, sometimes it really got that bad but I'm not a quitter and I never will be! Now I could sugar coat my journey but for the most part it was hell on earth, no two ways about it, period.

     In life we can either triumph over our circumstances or we can believe that everything should be handed to us on a silver platter and well, that just isn't me. I chose to run for hope, not away from it! You can simply choose one or the other but from that point onward, one will strengthen you and the other will lead you astray. slowly compromising all your hopes, dreams and aspirations. Take this moment to embrace victory and challenge every little opposition that dares to tell you that you can't do it! Every little doubt that wants you to fail, slowly pay less attention to it and the voice will only get quieter. Start today, you are worth it! Whatever requires strength, demands excellence in repetition. 

I hope these words give you comfort and dare to challenge you, to make you believe that you have a greater purpose than failure! I know Gods grace will carry you onward..

Me and Crabmagoo

     Have you ever heard of the crabmagoo theory?! Well most likely you have felt it in some way or another or may just maybe you might have done it your self. Now of course the real name is some what lengthy but I prefer the crabmagoo theory! What I mean is this, when you begin to do something great in your life or accomplish something worthy of a little joy or excitement there is always someone who sees your attempts to escape the bucket and tries to pull you down. It sounds crazy doesn't it?! Well sadly enough crabs will continually pull each other down not wanting to let the other one go or to escape. We sometimes catch that little bit of fever and do the same or have been victimized in the same manner. If you are that person who is diligently trying to overcome your situation, trying to be a better person or for that matter just living out your dreams and hopes when suddenly someone comes along and tries to yank you back down into the bucket with the rest of the crabs, just remember you don't have to be there. Fight with every bit, every ounce of who you are and keep reaching higher and if those friends try to pull you down again, it just might be time to let go of that friend. Their selfishness may supersede their intent to be what all good friends ought to be, encouraging, loving, thoughtful and caring.
     It never feels good to let a friendship go but sometimes there are seasons for friendships, for laughter, for pain, for so many things and life is messy. Don't take their baggage with you, just let it go and carry onward, you have victory in the waiting so press forward and don't give up! True friends will come along and you will forget all about the momentary pain of a friendship that once was...
     True friends are made of the best ingredients, love, patients, mercy, kindness, courage and so much more, their welcome never ends!

Here is one of my favourite songs about friendship and it is worth the listen.

Friends ~  By Michael W Smith


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbPKaIozS-c

Why I must

     The last few days have been very reflective for me. I can't really put into words the full spectrum of it all but I will try my best. For me it is as though I am falling out of a nightmare and landing into the most beautiful dream ever. When my stroke happened it was like hitting a huge massive wall, I mean I had faced poverty, bullying and so much more but the stroke literally took the wind out of my sails, in fact I think it took them altogether. Here I was stranded in the middle of the ocean without any way of getting back. I had to literally reinvent myself, find out who God wanted me to be and what I wanted to believe in the most. When desperate times require desperate measures I guess I took that to the extreme. I made my own wind sails and dug deep into the heart of perseverance. You know, now that I think about my journey I see that I have become much stronger, you either fall to the way side or you simply refuse to quit! I had no idea that I had that much strength in me and for the times I didn't have any, God gave me just the right amount. A perfect balance of hope, faith and love. Those really are the perfect ingredients for inspiration! For being able to move mountains of impossibility.
     So here I am just finishing city #3 and I am blown away by the dreams I am starting to see come about. I actually woke up this morning and was singing in the shower. I had to catch myself and just think about the fact that I hadn't sang in such a long time. I was too busy trying to swim to shore that I forgot that I wasn't doing the most peaceful and most enjoyable simple things. Well I have my tune, my melody and no one is going to take it away. The nice thing about music is that it is worth sharing and when it comes from the soul it simply is beautiful.
   
     Time to kiss the dreams of angels and laugh among the clouds of courage and of change! By Evk

Suicide isn't the answer

     Remember life is never too busy to comfort the hurting or the suffering. If your hour is busy than make your minutes count and if your minutes are scattered and few than make your seconds cry out! Where there is a will there is a way. Jesus taught us that time was precious and that loving others wherever he went was simply profound. The investment that He gave was stunning and the affects were even greater, in fact it changed the course of history. 

     
     Well the history that I wish to leave behind is this, I made the time to the best of what I could do. Just imagine if everyone kept saying "sorry, too busy" that would be upsetting for most of us, wouldn't it? We want to be heard and maybe even comforted! When we were children there was always that moment when we stubbed our toes or bumped our knees, something that required some comfort. You see comfort is an art form and some just don't have it because they lose perspective or they miss the general idea that love is worth investing in. Mother Teresa made her whole life about comforting others, I find that an admirable trait. Life is short and I am even shorter! I want my legacy to be simply this, I made the time when seconds counted the most...

    You never know what you might do, the change that you might make. The simple little smile and a hug that prevented a life from ending or maybe you laughed with someone who was desperately needing some cheer. I recently came to the end of my rope and literally was begging for comfort and it fell short. All I heard was silence... Now I am not suicidal by nature or anything of that matter but since my stroke my brain goes through spirals. It simply is because of this black spot on my brain that has forever changed the way I function as a human being. I can sit back and pretend that I am super stroke guy 24/7 but that isn't going to happen. My point is this, my wife had to literally prevent me from ending my life recently and all because of the damage, the little black spot. Remember that everyone is precious to God and that time is worth giving, you will be surprised at the blessings that might come your way or even the thank yous that you receive in the future! Take the time in your busy schedule and learn to love others the way that you would wish to be loved. You can only become a greater person for it, a more compassionate heart. Now that is the gift that keeps on giving.

“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.”

 Frederick Buechner

Am I a bush or a tree?

     Hope doesn't come in a little magic bottle, it showers the faint in heart through grace, through the God of unmatched beauty and mercy. With unimaginable love He caresses the soul of fear, He victoriously claims us as His only wonder above all wonders. Without contempt He pours out His unwavering kindness towards us and challenges us to press forward when all else lays in silence.

     Maybe today you feel weak or faint of heart and you are in need of strength. Maybe your tears are looking for a place to rest, a moments grace. Well I hope today is your day, your time to shine. Life can hand us barriers, mountains of challenge and sometimes we think that maybe just maybe we cannot triumph our personal struggles. When I face my daily struggles with stroke symptoms it can truly be overwhelming, the fact that one day I can speak, smile, laugh and walk; then suddenly I am on the floor begging for one ounce of strength just to stand. That moment is covered in the absolute effort within my soul to just keep my head above the endless tide of helpless dreams, nightmares. I am not a victim of my circumstances, I am a victor! I may look like a weight of a thousand sorrows, pressed against the depths of my joy but I will not surrender. I will stand my ground and rise above! I don't say all these things to just be positive, or to try to convince myself of something that may or may not happen. I truly believe God is my strength, my hope in present trials.

     I could reach for words of eloquence and paint a picture of a man of great strength, bravery and much more but really, I am someone who bleeds with fear in my moments of weakness. Therefor I am someone who needs hope, needs inspiration! I will overcome this tide, this battle. What is even more paramount is my understanding that trials eventually get tired, the sunshine will rise and I will see the dawn of grace. I will be on my hands and knees crying out in sweet victory!

I will triumph....

I will run the race of hope...

I will climb this mountain..

I will.

Take it or leave it

     Now in life there are ups and there are downs, it's a given. Just like the sunshine and the clouds, we expect them because it is a part of nature. Well in life it goes the same way, it's not all lollipops and laughter. Imagine one day you woke up to a splitting headache or a terrible flu. It is usually in those moments that you realize how appreciative you really are. The fact that on healthier days you can laugh as loud as you wish or that you can walk to the bathroom knowing that, well you get the idea; its a normal routine with an expected outcome. You pretty much do everything without difficulty until that storm hits. Like a boat on the ocean, the waters become unpleasant and now you are fighting with everything. When I arrived at home from the hospital there were so many memories of things that once was as easy as smiling or laughing. They were natural causes of a life filled with less difficulty than the one that I was facing now.
     Here I am looking at the hallway and thinking " Man, I used to walk down this thing like it was going out of style!" Well maybe on a good day that is what still happens but every now and then my brain goes into another world and I have to fight tooth and nail. Hey, we all go through something that makes us realize that suddenly we need to be more thankful for what we really have.
     I was just thinking of all the people who go through harder times than I and I wonder. I wonder how their minds deal with the tragedy of loosing a dear loved one, or maybe finding out that they might have cancer?! There are many probabilities that could occur but the greater question is simply this. What am I thankful for?
What do I have? Who am I really? Those are all powerful questions and rightfully so, they are the foundation for failure or victory! Maybe you face a wall of broken dreams or a mountain of heartbreak, maybe you are wondering am I living a life worthy of praise? What I mean is this, is your life a story of victory and triumph or is it covered in regret and failure? In my opinion, there is enough for anyone to falter over if they look for it but to imagine being more than who you are, living beyond your fears, now that takes talent! Why live in a small room with no windows?! I want to run in the open fields of grace and mercy! I want to be a champion!
     So here I am, standing at the door of a new dream, waiting for my big run. I have worked through the pain, the tears, the seizures and all the garbage that has come with running long distances for a stroke survivor, I am here to live my dream, to be an inspiration to all those people who feel that they have lost their own! I want to prove that impossible is just a word and nothing more! I used to take hope for granted and laughter as just a moment but they no longer mean just that. They are the lifeline to success!

Jeremiah 17:7
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. 

The Burning Light - excerpt from my autobiography

Just a few weeks ago my kids, my wife and I were at an outdoor movie event. Of course it was late at night and so they had flood lights on and vendors with bright lights by their tents. As everyone began to arrive at the showing they took their seats where they felt the best viewing would be. We of course wanted to be towards the back so the speakers wouldn't be so loud. As we sat there for some time waiting for the movie to begin, the sky grew dark and the lights became more predominantly bright. In fact most of the lights were directly in the eyes of those in the back. I looked across the field of onlookers and noticed many people were covering their faces from the bright lights. It was strange in some ways because many people looked very frustrated by the annoying distraction. I was more than frustrated and felt I should do something about it. My wife encouraged me to just get up and change the direction of the flood lights. I told her that they must be that way for a reason and so I sat for 10 more minutes complaining about it. Finally I got up and walked over to the flood lights that were at chest level and rotated them away from the audience. Surprisingly as I walked back to my seat many viewers who were along the way to my seat said "Thank you so much" When I sat down I was perplexed as to why no one else got up if it annoyed them so much. I then noticed the piercing light from the vendors station so I got up again and went to the vendors and asked kindly to block the light for those who were being blinded by the brightness. As I returned back to my seat more people said "thanks man" and "what a difference". When I sat in my seat the movie became enjoyable once again.
You see sometimes we put up with things even though they are simply solvable. Instead we often just allow those circumstance to annoy us and we just tolerate them. You have the option to be different and make subtle changes that make a world of difference. It may sound trivial but you would be surprised at how many people just put up with things instead of making the difference. By nature we like to be indifferent even though our clothes and sometimes our words say otherwise. Martin Luther King Jr. was someone who decided that black people shouldn't put up with discrimination, to be blinded by a light of ignorance, instead he said " I have a dream!" He let others know of his dream and then he made it reality!! Are you willing to be different? Willing to crush indifference and be the change that you are so longing for?! You can, if only you make the first step.

Light Within

 

Running for stroke survivors

I will be running for stroke survivors and providing moral support to cancer survivors!

This is an exciting run. Being a stroke survivor and being able to give encouragement to cancer victims as well!!!

I will perform the run on August 1st at 11:30am at the corner of 200st and langley bypass.
Still in need of the following:
1.Runners to run the last 5km
2.Bikers to bike the last 5km
3.Driver to bring me back home (or it will be a long walk home)
4.Sponsor for financial backing (special foods for running,vitamins etc.)

Journey prt 1

 

Ember

 

What a run

Well, I am so excited. I mean, I could hardly walk, talk, run and read and so much more. Here I am trying to run another 32 km!!! I am looking forward to the end of June and the 32 km stroke awareness run that I am doing. I am contacting so many different companies and putting out posters. I am proud that I refuse to give up.



"Remember to give it your best and when that is gone,
give it your all!" EVK


I hope this coming week will turn out well. I am looking forward to speaking with many other people in my community about the damage of strokes and also how we all can be heroes. If you are reading this and feel you can't overcome something just remember if I can do it, so can you. Don't lose hope.