I just heard a song that brought back some beautiful memories but before those memories there was much pain and sorrow. A long time ago when I was a teenager I went through a very painful process of failure and loneliness. There just wasn't any way around it, due to circumstances and the uphill battle that faced me. As I contemplated suicide there was a song that gave me solace, a moment of peace, a breath of fresh air. I would listen to the song more than was even possible, I was sure I was wearing the song out! Amazingly enough the song was literally the wind beneath my wings, it kept me afloat. I cannot tell you how precious the song was or what it did for me as a human being but it shaped the course of history, well my history that is!
As time had passed the pain had subsided and I went on a journey with my girlfriend to YWAM (missionary trip) Surprisingly enough who did I meet? I met the parents of the singer who wrote and performed the song that had literally saved my life! I told my story to them and in turn they mentioned it to their son. The world is smaller than we think and how we inspire others is much bigger than we can imagine. Here I am going through another moment in my life, trying to survive a stroke that literally has decimated my dreams and hopes. Now don't be discouraged by my circumstances, there is a way for inspiration to grow. I am not afraid as I once was, of life, of the unknown. I am now running to make change in peoples lives and bring hope and inspiration to others and to myself, challenging the borders of what I can or cannot do.
The most important thing is this, I am free!! I am not alone and I will run in victory!! Don't loose heart, you are worth the fight. Take one step at a time and breath.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Just recently I ran 31kms with a new found friend and some old ones too. What really blew me away was that we all had a common goal, we wanted to run the distance that we had set for ourselves. I felt honoured by those who ran with me, who wanted to believe in what I was doing. I wish I could dig deeper into the pool of contemplation but maybe the mystery of it all should be left in silence. I just know that there was something new I learned about myself and those who went with me. There was camaraderie and a sense of purpose, we all wanted to make a difference and we knew that we would! I loved every minute of it because I knew before hand that it was something worth cherishing. It was precious and so I held it tight to my heart.
We often go through life so quickly and demand that it serve us with utter respect but when the tables turn we can truly realize that we ought to be the ones who pay respect. For me laughter is one simple way to live in the moment, to love the moment, to embrace the minutes that pass ever so gently through our hands. God requires us to admonish his gift of life not to abuse it, so I want to embrace it without hesitation. I want to climb every mountain of fear and shout from every hilltop! I don't want to live in a tiny box of "What ifs". I want to soar above my dreams and kiss reality. Reach for the stars and embrace heavens warmth! When I came to the last few kms in my run, I felt my heart pounding and my flesh became weak but never was there a greater moment when my soul cried out for victory! When I felt the hand of Gods grace carrying me, not because I deserved it but simply because He loves me. I hope you will be encouraged by this letter and maybe you will find some strength in challenging your fears. Like I always say "Give it your best and when that is gone, give it your all!"
God Bless....my fellow runners and those yet to join!
Friday, May 6, 2011
There are so many feelings and thoughts, maybe even fears that permeate this event. First of all it is my heart and soul that sits in the middle of this run. I just never imagined that when I had the stroke, this is what would come of it. Looking forward at the great unknown and standing at the edge of my fears and hoping that God would divide the waters of impossibilities. I mean He did it for the israelites, then He sure can do it for me. There is always the unexpected or the unknown when we step out of the box of comfort. Well in my case there was no comfort, in the box or out, so why not just go for it?! Why not lead a life worth living?! I mean, thousands of people everyday just go through the motions, not really knowing who or what they really are. What they are made of! I am at the edge of something beautiful, maybe not, the one thing I know is that I am here in this moment. Willing to climb beyond what I can take. I want to live a life worthy of victory. I am willing to bleed that hope, that monumental moment of change!
We all want to live beyond the borders of complacency in some way or another. It is when we step out that we really find out who we are. In just a few days I am going to step out of a dream and right into reality!! I am scarred and I am excited. I can almost taste the finish line!! Now that almost all the planning has occurred it is simply time to put the feet to the pavement of success. By Gods amazing grace I hope that this will happen, I know it will because I have people who believe in me, who are praying for me and I have people who are running with me. One of the most amazing gifts are friendship. Running a literal race with people who are willing to sacrifice their time and their bodies to the cause is simply beautiful.
I will soon be standing among champions, people who wish to live beyond words! I will be standing among the fields of wonder and clouds of dreams! This is the moment I have been waiting for. Bringing hope and love! This stroke hasn't seen nothing yet!!