Sunday, December 11, 2011


   I lived in my car for sometime due to contractors lying and cheating me out of wages so their sons could drive bmw's etc. Well I didn't get paid and slept through an entire winter in a car. I often woke up because of the chattering of my teeth, I ate small amounts of food that my soon to be wife gave me (an apple or an orange, maybe a banana) She took only food that was her own and then shared it with me. Some nights were beyond bareable and so I slept during the day when the sun was out. My girlfriend  was going to school at the time and while she was in class I would sleep in the main study hall. I was a very broken person back then, disheartened by those who lied and those who withheld due wages. In fact I remember my stomach hurting so much that I often thought of eating garbage just so I could get by. Well right across from me was a food dispenser that I often stared at but had no money to purchase food for my hunger, late one afternoon I saw a few women from my girlfriends dorm room tipping the machine so they could get candies and food just for the sake of it. They thought it trivial and erroneous to believe they were stealing and for some reason felt it was humorous to take what was not their own. As they walked away they chuckled at the thought of their actions and that they had the money to purchase but instead took what they felt they deserved despite the lack of hunger.
     I never forgot that day nor the hunger that constantly burned in my belly. I questioned Gods kindness and mans mercy but I knew that in those moments that God was digging deeper into the very depths of my soul, telling me with memories that hunger is but a moment but honour is a lifetime. Don't forget that every action you do has an indescribable reaction. You can chose to have a photo album of memories worth smiling about, looking back knowing that you put your faith in a God who remains strong through even the roughest times. I am no special person by any means but I do believe that Christ has created in me a clean heart, to worship him, to live for him, to run for him, to be all the things that Gods heart spurs me towards. Late one night as I was shaking from the cold a security guard took notice to my predicament, he invited me to his office and gave me hot chocolate and 10 dollars. We spoke and laughed for a brief time, I forget the words he spoke but I never forgot his kind smile and giving heart. We all have an opportunity to be the light that everyone so desperately needs, sometimes it's like the break of dawn, shining beautifully as it rises and other times it just a brief light to guide the ship home from rough waters. After that winter and others I had experienced in hardship I never forgot the value of people over objects. Christmas is a time of giving from the heart not the wallet, a precious star of hope guiding us to a promise much bigger than ourselves.

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