Backbone

     Well tonight I had a blowout, well not really a blowout but a momentary lapse of judgement. The story is a bit long but worth mentioning, I was sitting in the van waiting for my kids to come out of the church and I saw this young man and his wife arguing with one of the volunteers. Now I must tell you something of importance, they were known for being complainers and frustratingly hmmm what is the right word? Well it will come to me, well I could see they were getting really nasty towards the church staff and I have heard for some time that they were a pain in everyone's side. Now to put in context, this was a kids bible, slash, event centre. So the problem truly arose due to the issues surrounding the couples child who has been a constant trouble maker. Every time the matter is brought up to the parents they blame someone else or believe that they or their child could never do no wrong. Any time a staff member deals with the couple it ends in eye rolling, shrugs and shear frustration. They often come across as being far better than others. Well now that I have laid the ground work for my momentary lapse of judgement I will proceed forward with my story.

      I was sitting in the van watching the couple berate some innocent volunteer because they decided that the young child was being problematic (once again) I could see by the fathers posture that he was laying right into the poor guy. This was going on for a good 5 to 10 minutes and so I got out of the van and walked in. I listened for a few minutes and thought "no I just have to use the bathroom, just leave it alone" but then it got worse. The volunteer was apologizing but yet trying to stand his ground, being polite as possible but as soon as he left the pastor came walking over and said " is there anything wrong?" Then the mother of the child ripped into the pastor and then that was it! My stroke problems kicked in. I just stepped in and told them this " You guys are so arrogant and it is disgusting, you should be ashamed! It's disgusting, man you guys are so full of shhhhhh" well you get the idea. I thankfully held back my tongue and didn't finish the statement as intended. I was angry not because the couple was completely unreasonable or self absorbed or the thousand other things that they truly were, I was angry that so many people put up with their childish behaviour. The squeeky wheel was getting the grease and it was insulting. I wanted someone to have some backbone, any one! 

     After this transpired, I walked over to the van and for some reason I felt really good about myself. Maybe because they deserved to hear that they were arrogant or maybe because I stood up to something that I personally hate, apathy. Personally it may not have been the best approach but as far as me standing up to some severely manipulative people, it was an A+. Being a christian doesn't mean you have to be a doormat to people who cause nothing but strife. Others are watching and they learn about dealing with conflict. There comes a time when you have to stand up to others and refuse to take what they are giving. It is called dignity and respect. 

Broken Lines

Todays fears will be conquered

hope will shine

way past every step

beyond every broken line

every shattered dream

that cries

Today I will learn to fly....

                                               By EvK

     When I first faced the inevitable desire to overcome my stroke, expand my boundaries; I felt excited and filled with anticipation. Maybe some would step back and let things be as they were but for me I have always been a fighter. Now don't get me wrong, I have my weak moments too but starting this dream wasn't one of them. For some wild reason I felt that if I could run I could make a difference. Change my circumstance into a message of hope!
     When I approached my first few kms (miles) I felt I had faced a giant, an insurmountable physical wall and emotionally draining challenge. I couldn't run any further than 22 kms and my dream was to go way past that, I felt literally discouraged. I know that I should have been proud of my distance, shoot I should have been shouting it from the top of the mountains. I didn't feel satisfied, I felt I was short of the distance that I truly wanted to accomplish. I needed to make the full lap that I had set out to do and I was going to do it somehow. Somewhere, somehow we all come to a dead end or at least one that we feel is impossible to overcome. Instead of staring at a failed attempt I decided that I needed some inspiration, some hope that could drive my dreams. So the next day I wrote this phrase with my picture.
     Now I was looking at my situation from the outside, seeing how far I had truly gone. I was learning how to be proud of my accomplishments for the first time! I saw a man who didn't want to give up or give in. We all need dreams and most definitely we need hope. Instead of looking at a blank wall why not try to figure how to climb over it or under. For that very matter, why not reach for inspiration!! You have one life to live and why not make the most of it?! After I wrote this I finally reached my goal of 31 kms, not only did I reach that distance but I went further.
     So the deep profound lesson that I have learned is this, give it your best and when that is gone give it your all! Reach for inspiration and if you can't find any then you need to seriously look around because it is everywhere! In my case I made my own because that is just what I needed at that very moment....

Don't fear challenges, they literally shape who you could possibly be if you so choose to accept!

When fear looks you in the eyes don't turn away, just smile and press forward!!!