From storm to storm what shall we be

     How fragile is life? For the past few years I knew that personally and intimately. I didn't mind the struggles because for some reason I just plugged away at it. You know, you just keep swimming because, well you have to! When my wife suddenly became sick, that was a shocker. Her body, her immune system finally broke down all because of my stroke, the stress.

     Here I am looking down at my wife, watching her as she seems so lifeless, so withdrawn, no energy. She was the pillar for the last few years, being the real trooper, the sergeant in the midst of a war. Now things have turned, it may be for a short while but it has turned nonetheless. How do we overcome such obstacles, such walls of hurt? Well let me tell you something beautiful, something sweet. When I saw my wife lying there, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and that this was my moment to shine! It may sound crazy but what I mean is this, I have the chance to show my wife how much I love her and how much she means to me. I sat beside her bed and I rubbed her for some time, the minutes turned into hours and all I wanted to do is let her know that I am by her side! As the tears welled up in me, I just told myself "you can do this for her, be the strong one now!" It is funny how life can teach you how to be brave in so many different ways. You just never know who you really are until you face the storm! Will you hide, cringe and maybe even fall to the way side or will you suddenly stand up and raise your shield, your sword and fight! Become bold and brave....

     We all face adversity, it is those moments that truly define you, the depth of who you are and are not. Most see affliction, suffering, trials and pain as a negative; all too harsh reality for losing ones spirit. I say it is the perfect opportunity for being the person that God has called you to be. Will you answer, will you step out of the boat and live a life of bravery! Are you willing to be different? Well I am going to run all those cities because now I know that this is what i was meant to do. It is time to shine like the stars and after being hard pressed on either side, this makes the journey even sweeter, more precious. Thank you God for being my strength, being my everlasting hope! 

Matthew 14:29

You can rise above or sink into a world of fear but inevitably you must choose!

Why I must

     The last few days have been very reflective for me. I can't really put into words the full spectrum of it all but I will try my best. For me it is as though I am falling out of a nightmare and landing into the most beautiful dream ever. When my stroke happened it was like hitting a huge massive wall, I mean I had faced poverty, bullying and so much more but the stroke literally took the wind out of my sails, in fact I think it took them altogether. Here I was stranded in the middle of the ocean without any way of getting back. I had to literally reinvent myself, find out who God wanted me to be and what I wanted to believe in the most. When desperate times require desperate measures I guess I took that to the extreme. I made my own wind sails and dug deep into the heart of perseverance. You know, now that I think about my journey I see that I have become much stronger, you either fall to the way side or you simply refuse to quit! I had no idea that I had that much strength in me and for the times I didn't have any, God gave me just the right amount. A perfect balance of hope, faith and love. Those really are the perfect ingredients for inspiration! For being able to move mountains of impossibility.
     So here I am just finishing city #3 and I am blown away by the dreams I am starting to see come about. I actually woke up this morning and was singing in the shower. I had to catch myself and just think about the fact that I hadn't sang in such a long time. I was too busy trying to swim to shore that I forgot that I wasn't doing the most peaceful and most enjoyable simple things. Well I have my tune, my melody and no one is going to take it away. The nice thing about music is that it is worth sharing and when it comes from the soul it simply is beautiful.
   
     Time to kiss the dreams of angels and laugh among the clouds of courage and of change! By Evk

So Shall It Be

     Here I am, jogging across another city. It was amazing to say the least! I had preciously imagined this moment, tasted it within my dreams. I don't know exactly why I am so driven, so focused on doing this task. I can't put a finger on when or how it really happened but it did. Maybe the stroke catapulted me into something that I didn't want but inevitably had to accept. Somehow it shaped my character more than I could have ever imagined. Well I am just about to run city number 3 and i am even more excited than the last time I ran. Why? Maybe because every time I face the giant I get a little bit stronger. I am slowly silencing the impossible, the improbable. Now I am making it possible!!
     As I pass through each city I run up to restaurants and tell them of my journey. The excitement is completely exhilarating and even inspiring when I see the smiles and the faces that seem a little awe struck at the challenge that I am taking on. It gives me something to focus on, to hold to when I run. My heart feels like it is floating on clouds....
     Well I must get back to eating the right foods for the run and continue training the best that I can! Everything that is amazing in life starts from somewhere, some small insignificant place, something small that begins to grow and grow until it cannot be ignored any longer! This dream deserves a pair of shoes and a beautiful cup of hot coco! Well sometimes... lol

You are mine

My friend is a model and she had this photo of herself on her page. Well it had me thinking right away and so I wrote this for her....

Common Grounds

I wrote this after running seven miles yesterday in my second city. I have 68 more to go! The tour is called 70 x 7. I decided that I wanted to be different, I didn't want to lay down and simply just survive from a stroke. I want to conquer with dignity and hope shouting from every nook and cranny of my being! So here I am believing that there is something more than just a dream, reality is just a touch away. God gives strength to His children and so I will trust in Him.

From the mundane to the spectacular

     Sometimes we focus so hard on wishful thinking that we miss the simple, the mundane steps that truly conquer the impossible! We talk about things that we hope for but just leave it at that, a note or a drawing shoved into a small drawer in our minds. Every once and awhile we pull it out and admire it or even worse we scribble it out and do the same thing over again. Somehow, in some way or another we just leave where it is, maybe we even put it on the floor right in front of the door; a doormat! We come in and wipe our feet on it, we see it as a thought and no less, no more.
     Well that isn't me, I grew up having been bullied as a child and I never forgot the anguish and frustration it left me with. I did nothing but take the harsh words and belittling comments which eventually cut my self esteem to almost nothing. When I grew up I faced those giants, my struggles with self worth and a host of other issues! I couldn't believe my eyes when I began to grow, learn who I really was and what I could achieve. God really changed my mind and my heart. So what I learned was now ingrained, etched into my life! When I see something that seems almost impossible I face it head on, I want to conquer it, not because I think I am the end all be all but because I know that fear should never be left alone. Fear has a way of growing and growing until whatever challenges or dreams that you once had seem impossible!
     So take today as your opportunity to reach out and live beyond your fear, love beyond your hate, laugh beyond your worries. You can do it, just take baby steps, that is all that is required for a world of change.

:)

God Bless...

signed Stroke Survivor, now Conqueror!

Imagine, dream, reach and believe!

     You imagined, you dreamed, you reached and you believed! I found this wonderful card buried under a pile of toys and old clothes. I knelt down at the corner of my closet and thought "sheesh it is time to do some cleaning out" As I was plugging along I saw those beautiful words, right in front of my face and yet for over a year it never really meant that much until now. My mother had written those beautiful thoughts down and wanted to encourage me as I trained. She knew how important my running was and as an amazing mother that she has always been, she took the time to encourage me. You see the front of the card said the same thing but it held no weight, had no value but when I saw that my mother wrote it down I paid attention. Why? Well that could take years to explain but to sum it all in this word will have to do, respect! Respect carries a lot of weight behind it, it is because what is said has worth. You know that from the deepest part of your heart that that person means what they say and there is no going around it. So when I read "You imagined, you dreamed, you reached and you believed" I know there was a lot of heartfelt love.
     I see those words through different eyes now, I see them with different emotions. I see them with a cry of "Keep going!" I am not who I used to be and I will never mourn over it. I am who I am for a reason and it is time to run another city... Time to chase after dreams worth pursuing! God bless...

There is something to be said about hope, it literally drags you through a wasteland of impossibilities and pushes you to the mountain top of victory! By EvK

Until it's Gone

     I don't know really why but as I was washing the dishes this afternoon I became reflective in a small sort of way, you know how it is when you do something mundane and your mind travels to another location or possibly to another memory from days gone by. As you work through a field of memories digging out the rocks and planting new dreams and new hopes you come to this amazing discovery. When life hands you a major storm and all your crops and all your flowers are ruined you realize that you don't know how good things are until they are gone. The field that you once grumbled over and the garden that had its continuous weeds that gave you unending angst are simply a pain of the past. Now you wish for the flowers, the crops that yielded you some joy and satisfaction. You wondered why such trivial issues really caused you frustration, why you didn't smell the roses or simply laugh and enjoy each day for what it was worth.
     That was my reflection in a small sort of way, I was always a thankful person for the most part but when I was younger I was often discontent and sad. It wasn't the greatest time of my life, in fact I believe it was a dark dark time for me. Here I am post stroke and I am fully aware that I survived a devastating storm and yes it ruined most of my crops and beautiful gardens, my memories, my history in some strange sort of way but I am a new person now; I am a survivor and even more so a conqueror! I had to till the entire field of my dreams and hopes and for that I have become much stronger and wiser. I personally will probably never say "Thank you" to my stroke for making me this way, only because I'm not giving it the satisfaction. I'm stubborn that way! I am who I am because God gave me the strength to survive with a joyful heart. I didn't know until this very day that I had overcome so much, that I had ran the distance and made my mark! I have a new field of dreams and I will carry on and maybe just maybe another storm will come but I know where my hope lies. I have my plow ready and I am anxiously waiting for what will grow. So be strong and courageous, know that what you have is an opportunity to become something more than just shattered. You have a remarkable chance to find out how deep your strength really is, how precious your courage really is and really so much more!