The wind begins to howl and the trees begin to bend, under the sudden travailing force. The pleasant and serene beauty of children playing and people laughing cracks like glass under the force of a unknown hammer. The pieces fall to the ground all too quickly and yet the noise is held in complete silence like a silhouette captured within a frame. My lips quiver and my eyes dart back and forth trying to grasp what is being done, what has just occurred. Peoples voices become muffled and there faces begin to melt into obscurity as my brain desperately seeks to find solitude. The light slowly dims as I crawl to a corner and breath ever so slowly, wishing to feel the soft touch of peace. As I look up in desperation I see a sudden flood of water pouring all around me. I quickly run towards a boat that I see in the distance, my heart is pounding and my body is drenched in fears and emotional thunderstorms. I hold onto the mast with every ounce of strength within my heart as the water rises with devastating destruction. Suddenly a hand reaches out and the waters calm and the rains fall silent. The sun begins to shine as the most beautiful rainbow pours out in an overwhelming radiance. I laid back in complete exhaustion and wonderment. The light seemed more beautiful when the sparkling blue skies danced with the ominous clouds in retreat.
I just survived my first blow out, a mental overload. Since the stroke literally destroyed my ability to cope with stress I am left with this experience on a weekly bases. This is my world but what may surprise you is this, I look forward to my rainbow; the stunning colours of freedom and hope. When my mind begins to recuperate its senses I take a deep breath and say "one day at a time" I look around me and give myself a pep talk and say " Ernie you can do this, you can survive this!" I am alive and I have the freedom to walk again and talk again.
It is so often the case that when we loose something precious we suddenly become aware, understanding that something valuable is gone; there is a void of some sort or another. What I have to say is simple and hopefully encouraging to you, there is always a way through the storm. No matter how hard or how long it may go, eventually it will fade away. The sun will shine again! Whatever is facing you today may seem like an insurmountable task but know this. There is someone who is greater than you, someone who is more profound and deeper than all your worries. The author of rainbows and sunshines, the God who can still any storm at anytime. If I had not felt the storm I would not embrace the calm.
Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you,
and will tell you great
and hidden things that you have not known.